She opened her mouth to tell him that, but what came out instead was not what she’d had planned. “I spoke with Dr. Grantham,” she told him.
“I saw you two talking,” he said as he crossed to the small refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of white wine. “We had lunch yesterday. He’s quite the scholar. I liked him very much.”
No surprise there, she thought. They would have a lot in common. “He told me they’d offered you a job.”
Arizona had reached for a wine cork. Now he placed both on the coffee table and crossed to stand in front of her. He took her small handbag and put it on the sofa, then linked his fingers with hers. He was tall and handsome. His green eyes glowed with fire and with concern.
“We should probably talk about that,” he said.
“There’s nothing to say, is there? After all, you turned him down.” She tried to keep her voice steady, her tone light. She didn’t want him to know she was starting to hurt. At first she’d been numbed by confusion, but now the pain filled her. He was really going away and there was nothing she could do to stop him.
“It’s not that simple, Chloe. You know that. There are a lot of reasons I would like to stay…”
“But more reasons to go,” she said, finishing his sentence.
His mouth twisted. “Yes.” He raised one hand and cupped her face. “You are so beautiful. I’ve enjoyed all our times together. If I had ever thought about staying, it would be now. With you.”
His words were a cold comfort. She had to clear her throat before she could speak. “But you can’t.”
“No, I can’t stay.” He pulled her hard against him. His arms came around her body, and she clung to him.
“Please understand,” he said. “It’s not about you. I come from a long line of men who leave and I don’t know how to do anything else but what they’ve taught me. I don’t make promises I can’t keep. I’m not sure I believe in love.”
She told herself that he’d progressed from definitely not believing to not being sure, but it wasn’t enough. “I don’t believe in magic,” she whispered against his shoulder and closed her eyes as tears blurred her vision.
“We have tonight,” he said. “And the time until I leave. Is that enough or do you want to go now?”
She wished he wasn’t a gentleman. At least then when he was gone she could try to hate him. But he was. He reminded her he couldn’t give her more than a temporary relationship, then offered her a chance to leave if she had to.
Chloe supposed that pride would insist that she stalk out with her back straight and a few stinging words to reduce him to dust. But she couldn’t. He’d never lied to her. From that first day, she’d known their relationship was only temporary. Nothing had changed…except for her feelings. But then falling in love with him had been her own stupid fault.
So instead of leaving, she rose on tiptoe and pressed her mouth to his. If they only had a short time to be together, she would savor every second, commit it to memory and live on it for the rest of her life.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THE LAST SHUDDER of his release ripped through him. Arizona groaned out Chloe’s name, then rested his head against her shoulder. Their breathing came in rapid gasps; they were both slick with sweat and tangled together. He wanted to stay like this forever.
She ran her hands up and down his back. “Thank you.”
He raised himself up on his arms and gazed at her face. “Thank you. I have to admit, we seemed to have discovered a new level of intimacy. It’s almost as if we’re communicating with our bodies.”
Her smile was content. “Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?”
“Maybe, but I’ve never experienced it before.” He was doing a bad job of telling her what he felt, but how was he supposed to explain the sensation of his heart and mind being opened to her? That for those few minutes, when he was inside her and she clung to him, that they really were one…just like all those old sappy songs promised.
“It’s amazing,” he said at last, knowing that didn’t come close to what he meant.
“Well, you’re the one with the expertise. All those women in your background. I’ll just have to bow to your superior knowledge.”
Her expression remained innocent, but the teasing in her voice gave her away. “You think you’re very smart, don’t you?” he asked.
“No. I don’t think it. I know it.”
“Oh, really. So what do you know about this?” He reached one hand down and started tickling her bare side.